Ideas and Observations
Originally from England, I've shot 1,900+ weddings and have seen just about everything. Good and bad. The odds are, you'll have lots of wedding planners giving you suggestions. That said, remember it's OK to just do it your way. After all, it's your wedding and you want your own memories and stories.
Do whatever makes you happy.This section has a variety of practical wedding advice. Remember though, every wedding is different because each couple is different, so your wedding should reflect what's important to the two of you. Be unique. Hopefully, some of the following may help.
1.
Whatever you do, don't gamble and settle for average and ordinary as you'll regret it. Hire full-time wedding professionals with the expertise and experience to surpass expectations. Not disappoint. Your wedding will be expensive so demand excellence.2.
The best plan of attack is to contact a variety of professionals and find the service and style that best meets you needs and budget.. Then, once chosen, let go, relax and leave everything in their capable hands so you get to actually enjoy your wedding. Don't micro-manage.3.
Trying to control every little detail on your wedding day may seem like a good idea but can easily end up having the opposite effect. If you want to have fun be flexible.4.
Make-up and hair always takes longer than expected and are two main reasons brides are often late getting ready. A good idea is to start appointments at least 30+ minutes earlier than you think you need to.5.
If possible, apply lipstick after you get dressed as it's easy to accidentally get lipstick on your dress layers and fabric when adjusting and fluffing. Keep a towel handy.6.
It's great fun to have a CD of your favorite songs playing when you're getting ready or in the wedding cars before and after the ceremony. It may help calm nerves a little too.7.
Choose comfort over style for your wedding shoes. Don't spend the most important day of your life in agony because you want to impress. Your shoes are mostly hidden from view anyway and it's hard to smile (and dance) when your feet are killing you.8.
Your dress is going to get dirty especially after your ceremony. This happens to all brides and virtually no one will notice so don't panic. Accept this as part and parcel of a fun and happy wedding and go with the flow.9.
Too many brides worry about the weather. If it's wet so what. You're going to be inside most of the day anyway and pictures of the bride and groom under a brolley are lots of fun.10.
You may wish to let your dressmaker know your wedding is a week earlier than it actually is, especially around prom season. This will avoid last minute panic and frustration with your dress not being ready on time.11.
The luck sixpence (or penny) in the shoe for good luck and good fortune dates from the Victorian era but many brides like this tradition. For comfort, rather than taping or placing it in your shoe, it's better to keep the coin with you in your bridal bag. It's also more secure this way.12.
Mentioning your bridal bag, consider including headache tablets, perfume, tissues, lipstick, lip gloss, mints, safety pins, a nail file, sanitary items, deodorant, et cetera. Be prepared.13.
Some limousine companies overbook and end up rushing couples after the ceremony when you really need the time. Plan your booking time carefully so you don't have the car(s) arriving 30 minutes earlier than necessary.14.
As some guests often arrive late for the ceremony, and brides don't like getting out of the car with stragglers still heading into church, perhaps list your start time 15 minutes earlier on the invitation. This way, you may get to walk down the isle almost on time.15.
If you're late you're late, but some priests and reverends and others can be very particular especially if there's another ceremony (or confessionals) following you wedding.16.
Don't expect too much from young children in your bridal party even if they are usually well-behaved. Kids will be kids. They get very excited (or panic) and suffer from pre-wedding nerves too. Accept this may happen especially when it comes to the processional. Keep in mind, whatever they do will likely be entertaining17.
Let friends and relatives know before your wedding it's OK for them to step outside during your ceremony if their baby is crying. Guests like to hear your vows not screaming children.18.
Make sure you designate a person to pin boutonniers on the chaps at church as otherwise they will leave then in the flower box.19.
Many bridesmaids (and bride's too) race down the isle ad end up almost on top of each other before they reach the altar. Don't bunch up. Leave plenty of space and (if your dress isn't too tight!), take a deep breath and enjoy the moment.20.
Attention brides! You are queen for a day so smile, keep your flowers nice and low, time your isle walk to the music and take it all in. These are your memories. Don't rush.21.
Don't be strangers at the altar. So many couples look as if they've never seen each other before. Yes, you're going to be anxious, but hold hands, talk, kiss, be together. This is the person you are marrying. Most of all, make sure you look at each other during your rings and vows. You are not marrying the minister or priest!22.
More than 50% of couples do not have a formal receiving line after their ceremony. The advantages are you get to cocktail hour much sooner and your guests aren't waiting in line for 15+ minutes. When it's hot and humid this can be plain miserable for everyone and, believe it or not, only having parents in the line doesn't move guests through any quicker.23.
Let your priest or celebrant know you don't want your wedding certificate folded. You may wish to frame it.24.
Bubbles after your ceremony are OK and rarely stain dresses like confetti and petals can when wet. Mind you, few churches will allow things to be thrown anyway. If they do, whatever you do, don't throw rice. You'll regret it. Think not just of hungry birds it may harm, but your hair, your veil, your dress will never be the same..25.
Instead of a formal receiving line after the ceremony, many couples (and parents) will visit with guests during dinner. It's more relaxed and you get to chat with friends and family you want to chat more with.26.
On the biggest day of your life the last thing you want is ordinary. You don't want ordinary flowers. You don't want an ordinary cake. And, you definitely don't want to gamble with an ordinary DJ or photographer.27.
Not to be harsh, but there are so many part-time amateur wedding DJ's and photographers who are just plain awful. To call them average is being kind. Don't do it. Yes, they cost less but that's because they lack the talent and ability necessary for even mediocre results. If you're OK with ordinary, you'll save dollars but your wedding reception will be dull and your wedding pictures terrible.28.
Approximately 10% of couples like to shoot all formal pictures prior to their actual ceremony. The advantages being couples are more relaxed in church and will have no interruptions afterwards. However, the odds of everyone being ready, even earlier than usual, is fifty-fifty at best. It's always a gamble.29.
When hiring videographers, choose wisely. Most couples don't like bright video lights that irritate guests and ruin the candlelight ambiance you have in your ballroom. Like with your pictures, low-key and natural is the best filming style. These days, most digital video cameras are amazing and don't require additional lighting.30.
Make sure, too, your videographer is creative and tells your wedding day story documentary-style. Far too many videos are dull, boring and predictable. The word cheesy comes to mind! The fact is, you'll rarely watch average videos twice. You'll also be embarrassed to show them to friends and family. An avid editor is critical if you want quality and class.31.
Your wedding day goes by so fast and you should be together with friends and family not missing-in-action overly-posing pictures. You want to enjoy cocktail hour. Your photographer should mostly be unobtrusive and low-key. Real and natural candid shots are the best way to tell your wedding day story.32.
Find a photographer you will be comfortable around and one who encourages fun. This way you'll relax and enjoy everything much more.33.
Make sure your paperwork and contracts specify exactly who your DJ and photographer will be. Some companies are crafty and known to send along someone other than the person you expected. Keep a listing of all payments made.34.
Have an at-a-glance emergency phone and e-mail contact listing for all wedding professionals and services you hire. Keep a copy handy in your pocket book and car.35.
It's best for younger flower girls and ring bearers to sit with parents during dinner. You don't want to become baby-sitters at the head table.36.
Many wedding couples prefer adult-only ceremonies and receptions. Unless they are teenagers, young children can be a distraction and will likely enjoy games and pizza more. Parents will then get to enjoy a might out together.37.
With reception seating avoid having older guests too close to the DJ or band. Younger guests will likely be OK with loud music so put them by the speakers.38.
This is almost a repeat, but worth repeating. Cutting corners with your entertainment budget is a mistake. To put in perspective, it's amazing the amount some couples spend on flowers that will be dead in days and have little lasting impact compared to the investment they make in their DJ or band. Like you, your guests attend many weddings and know when they've had a great time. The quality of your entertainment will largely determine how much fun you and your guests have. Don't go cheap.39.
With rare exceptions, a friend or relative serving as your DJ can spell disaster. Don't do it! You want your reception to be unforgettable not boring and dull. Hire a professional with experience and expertise as this will make a huge difference.40.
A DJ with a spectacular light and laser show and bright neon sign with their name in huge lettering is not critical for a great reception. It's their personality, style and professionalism that counts. Not how showy their light system is.41.
Flowers are lovely but can be very expensive. Sometimes less really is more. Many churches and ballrooms need little decoration.42.
Many mothers and grandmothers prefer wrist corsages or hand held bouquets instead of pin-on flowers that can be rather awkward to wear.43.
Candles often work much better than flowers as table centerpieces. They provide great ambient lighting, warm up faces, and allow people to see each other easier.44.
Instead of traditional table numbers, use themes. Honeymoon destinations (London, Sydney, Rome, et cetera), favorite colors, types of flowers, cheeses. Anything goes. Be different.45.
Save dollars and get candles from stores like Michael's, target, and others. Two or three large candles (perhaps on a mirror plate) look very elegant. You can even sprinkle rose petals to add a touch of color46.
You'll be amazed how many brides use full-service Flower Shoppes at larger Price Choppers. The value, service and selection is tops.47.
It's your wedding cake so if you don't like the typical chocolate or vanilla selections be creative. Ice cream, carrot cake, marzipan, even banana pudding can make tasty alternatives. Get something you like.48.
If your caterers are flexible, avoid forking out for a huge cake many guests never end up eating anyway. Approximately 60% serving slices relative to your guest count will be more than adequate especially if left on a dessert table for everyone to help themselves.49.
More than 50% of couples avoid the garter and bouquet routine. Options include just throwing the bouquet, giving it to a mother or grandmother, an anniversary dance presentation to the oldest married couple, or just plain nothing. Full stop. Remember it's your wedding so be unique.50.
If you do wear a garter, test it before your wedding day as they tend to fall down. Make sure it is tight. You can always keep it in your bridal bag and put it on later at your reception.51.
Your reception will be over before you know it so dance the might away every chance you get. After all, it's the biggest party of your life.52.
Most of all, the absolute best way to make sure everyone enjoys you wedding is for you to enjoy it yourself. After all the planning and preparation, that's all that matters.
Please ring or e-mail anytime with questions. Most days, I'm usually very friendly and helpful and in my shop (weekday) afternoons and evenings. Don't even worry if I'm not your photographer, I'll still give you my very best suggestions.
For even more help, my Friends features a complete listing of phone numbers and web links to great photographers, video chaps, bands, DJ's, hotels, ballrooms, inns, florists, cake girls, and other first-class professionals. The best.